Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Warning : Pompeii is Not for kids.
We were learning about maps..I was on the couch under a blanket, freezing...she stood on a chair.
It just wasn't working. I wanted to sleep.
Who cares where Guinea is, we're not traveling there.
It's the kind of cold where your eyes water and mascara is pointless and a bad, smeary idea.
That's what I have this week.
So after math, with my head all stuffy, I lowered my teaching standards to Netflix.
I resorted to a documentary on Pompeii....History for the day. :)
Lunch was over and it was raining outside. It seemed fitting.
I talked the movie up. Told them how great it was going to be.
Told them a little about Pompeii.
The documentary said 43 minutes running time. Perfect...for a nap. Ha!
I pushed play. The kids started talking to each other. I said stop and watch the movie...
...This is school! *cough*
They stopped for a second and then started giggling about something and chatting quietly.
I have a cold. I want quiet. Don't they know this? Everyone needs to just be quiet.
So the queen pushed pause and made it very clear to the people of the court.....
"Listen. You HAVE to be quiet! I want everyone to focus and pay attention to the movie.
THIS is for school. You need to learn.
If you want to talk, you can talk and wash the kitchen floor together. Okay? Got it? Good.
The room fell silent. Everyone faced forward to watch the educational masterpiece.
Now...one would think a documentary about Pompeii would be safe, right?
Well, here's the conversation within seconds of pushing play....
Man on the TV: "She believed s@x was a gift from the gods and you should have as much $e# as possible. It doesn't matter the gender or the age...$ex, &e# S@X...."
At this point mom is fumbling to push the button that skips chapters as S@x is said another 800 times.
Mom sounding "fake" dumbfounded: "Hey...how did the movie skip forward? Oh well..let's watch."
Thinking the next chapter would be a bit more G-rated..I mean, it is a documentary on a volcanic eruption after all.....we watch as the scene opens with paintings of bedroom practices of all genders with all genders. Mom abruptly stops "safe" documentary on volcanic eruption.
1. Don't watch Pompeii on Netflix with your kids.
(I did go back and watch scenes from the next couple chapters and it seemed to be okay, it's just the opening scenes, but sheesh! Not for kids that are paying attention!)
2. If you have a bad cold, just turn on Cheaper by the Dozen in the first place,
and scrap history for the day. No one will die. I promise. :)
Also..did you guys hear about the law they're considering passing in Spain? I think it's a great idea.
Can you imagine if they passed something like that here in the States?
What would all the spoiled kids of America do?