It's easy for us to be victims..right?

     

It was one thing...ONE tiny little thing God opened my eyes to see.

I still have miiiiles to go. Miles!

But..I'm learning...little by little, situation by situation..and it is so FREEING. 

It feels so good! ...and I want to share and encourage you.

I'm talking about taking responsibility. 

Something not many of us do in this day and age...or any age for that matter.

It started long before the "everyone-gets-a-trophy" kids came along...we can't blame them.

Someone raised those trophy kids, right?

...and someone raised the trophy kids parents. and those before them. and those before them!

It actually started in the very beginning! Read here ...you'll see.

{Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the Devil..etc.}

We don't like to take responsibility! It's not in our nature and it's not fun.

We like to pass the blame..it's easier that way.

If we pass the blame..we don't have to do the hard work!!! Right?

Well....sort of.

Ignoring responsibility can feel like we may have gotten away with something,

but it always has a way of catching up to us. Always.

Go ahead..try ignoring your electric bill.

You won't be in trouble for a couple of months...but when it does catch up with you,

not only do you have back payments..but also late fees and a bad history with ComEd.

{or whatever company you're with...}

    

When we blame {and then complain} our vision becomes impaired. 

Once our vision is impaired we can't see who is who and what is what...

...we don't realize how upside down and backwards we see things.

It's at this point Satan walks in..and we hold out our arms and 

let him wrap victim chains around our wrists and lock us down while crying out...

"Look what's happening to meeeeee!"

It's one of his favorite things to do...make us feel like everything is happening to us.

He loves to make us feel like we don't have a choice in the matter..it's not our fault!

It's never our fault. 

...and there we sit. Stuck! Stuck by our own free will. Our own blinded choices.

It really is a miserable place to be.

Life doesn't always go as planned..wait, let me rephrase that...

Life NEVER goes as planned! Bad things are going to happen. 

You can count on it. Welcome to the world.

We have no control over the things other people do.the way they feel.or what they say.

We DO however have control over the way we feel.what we do. and what we say.

In both small and big things.

Once something is placed in our lap...it is OUR responsibility to handle it...the right way.

I can't tell you enough, the weight that is lifted when you take responsibility.

You will feel better and your relationships will improve by one million percent!

What does taking responsibility look like?

1. Stop complaining. Stop. Stop. STOOOOP!!! 

I know, I know..it's hard to do...but we have to break this habit. 

It only brings us down and gives us a gloomy outlook.

2. Stop making excuses. My husband is great at calling me out on this one.

Not in a mean way...but in a truthful way...of course the man is often correct.. 

{eye roll..all the way into my brain}

We don't realize how many of our "reasons" are really just plain old excuses.

3. Listen to what others are saying.

If multiple people are telling you the same thing about yourself..it's probably true.

Own it and change! It's not the end of the world. No one will hate you.

In fact...they will like you better!  I had to do a lot of listening this past year...

{big gulp..and I'm not talking about the drink size from 7-11}

It hurts our precious ego...but just for a little while. 

It gets better...and it gets easier when we let go of pride.

4. Take a good hard look at yourself. 

It's hard. It's really hard to be honest with ourselves..it's embarrassing and humiliating.

But...when we're at the bottom..it's the only way to get back up.

Why? Becaaaaause..ultimately we are responsible for fixing ourselves! 

5. It's you and you alone!

Unless you're an infant..which you are not if you're reading this...you and you alone

are responsible for yourself. Did you read the part about You?

You are in charge of your healing. your happiness. your relationships. your LIFE!!!

Phew! Anyone else tired of reading yet? 

...let's wrap this thing up.

God equips us and is there for us in every single situation life throws our way.

He does not ever leave us out to dry. He promises to walk with us through it all.

However...we have to step up and ask for His help. 

He doesn't baby us and let us off scot-free!

He will give us what we need to take the responsibility that is ours.

WE have to do the hard work!!! HE give us the strength to do it.

Now don't be a victim and go find someway to take responsibility! ;)

XxOo 

What makes you worth being married to? Yikes! ...and 5 tips to make you the best spouse ever...maybe.

We circled the church Sunday morning..the babe and I...missing the sermon{again}

..walking, walking, walking...past the puppy....walking, walking...walking some more...

...principessa and I finally sat on the front steps and watched cars drive by.

Jeff ran the diaper bag out to us...are you okay? Do you need anything?
He gave me a kiss and went back inside.

His thoughtful gesture turned into a bunny trail of thoughts.

He does so many, many little things like that...all of the time....
Get me a glass of water in the middle of the night.
Never complains when he sees the Target debits come out of our account.

I don't get up and run to work...I have the privilege of staying home.

...{or working if I want to!} There is no pressure.

Our swimming pool is always sparkling clean.
The washing machine was fixed within two days.
He built boxes and worked in the garden..
..a job he wanted to {possibly} murder his wife over {wink}..
...I will share with you soon.

He is a servant..a do-er...a man who will get the job done no matter how tired he is..
..how much he's worked that day..he is always there for me...his wife.

I sat there with my little girl and started to wonder...

What makes ME worth being married to?

How do I even answer that question?

What do I do that's so wonderful that Jeff couldn't live without me?

Do I truly put the effort into my marriage that I expect him to?

Do I complain more than I give?

What is it that makes him love me?

What is it that keeps him around besides his vow?

I want to be a better wife. I want to make his life better.

I want him to feel the same way about me that I feel about him!
That peeeeeaaaceful, eeeaaaaasy feeeeeeling...I know he won't let me down
{did you catch that? ;) ..if not click HERE 
..if I ever become a famous singer, I want to do a cover of this..Haha}

I want him to be thankful that he has a wife that treats him the way she does.

Wow!
I've got a lot of work to do! {heavy sigh}

It is SO easy to let selfishness and expectation creep in, isn't it?
Satan's best trick in a marriage.
He looooves to encourage our expectations.
...and he can raise those bars really high too!

It's also easy to not want to do our part because our spouse "isn't doing their's".

But...we the people of our flesh and blood only like to see what 

others are doing wrong...we don't like to see our own shortcomings.
{and we ALL have them..don't fool yourself!}

When we start to focus on ourselves..and by that I don't mean run our for a pedicure...
{although that is fine...it's summer and sandals and the beach...}..
What I  mean is....
...a little self reflection and self realization...taking responsibility.
When we start fixing ourselves...
...then and ONLY then...we will begin to make the changes
necessary to better not only our marriage...but all other relationships
in our lives.


So.....here are 5 quick ideas to better yourself as a wife...
{or husband!}

1. Make a list of things your spouse does for you!
This always helps me realize how much effort my hubs puts in and
my heart always becomes more grateful.

2. Make a list of things you do for your spouse..
..Not for the kids..Not for the family..What you do for him/her personally!
Yikes! Is list number 1 bigger?

3. Vow to make one change...even if it's a tiny one.
...and BE consistent!  A kiss at the door. Toothpaste on his toothbrush.
Make him a lunch. Get his coffee ready in the morning.
Something..something to say "You're special to me:"

4. Stop Complaining!!!
It only brings us and everyone around us down.
Try your hardest to look for the good! You'll feel better and like people more.
...and your husband will like you more! This I can promise.

5. This one is tough..ask your husband/wife if there is anything you can
do to improve yourself as a spouse? ..and have an open mind! No getting angry..;)
Also...when you do this...do NOT expect your spouse to ask this same question back!
Remember..this is about improving yourself for your spouse..not your spouse
improving themselves!


HaPpY Improving!!!
XxOo 

Wrapping up the week...how's your summer going?..a fabulous dessert link and a brand spanking new song!

Like many of you...I think of Memorial Day weekend as the kick off to summer.
So in my mind..we're already a couple of weeks in. {wink}
It's nice to be back in the garden..back at the beach...
...back to open windows...ice cream cones and late afternoons in the pool.

This summer we're home...different from our past eleven summers.
No farmers markets...no catering...no pizza making.
{Thanks Covid}

Buuuut....if I'm being honest...it's kind of nice!
I'm clearing out the clutter.
Closets.
Cabinets.
Books.
Toys.
....and the {insert Beethoven's 5th} attic.

This dessert {or breakfast or snack...} is AMAZING!!!

My friend Shelly shared this Granola-Nut-Berry Tart on her instagram.

It is so worth making!

Also..it's healthy for you..no sugar unless you substitute and add it.

You can tweak and twirl it however you want..I added a tablespoon of

sunflower seeds to the crust and I used cool whip instead of whipped cream.

Our dear friend just came out with a new song today...

...you must take a LISTEN !!!

He's one of my favorite artists...and not just because I know him.{wink}

Hope you have a fabulous weekend.

XxOo

So...where was I....?

Oh yeah..I was VERY pregnant, the weather was summer and all the flowers were in bloom.

A quick recap, for those reading one hundred years from now...
..when I will be very old or most likely DEAD...
...generations below me can know a little of what happened between August and the end of April.

Here it goes....
New babe in the house...Cecilia Marie...born in September. {such a gift!}
A daughter had surgery....on her pinky...
{..never underestimate the power a shirt collar during a football game.}
Found out our son and daughter in law are having a baby giiiiiirrrll!!!..due in July. {Yay!}
Fall glorious Fall happened ...and I have not one picture up on my blog!
Aaaaaalll the holidays.
Braces came off one child, braces went on another. {$$$}
We celebrated 23rd wedding anniversary. {happy, in love sigh}
Then..there is this whole pandemic thing.
Like you...we've been home for 4,756 days now.

I'm going to be honest...I kind of like having a clear schedule. {shrugs shoulders}
However, we are missing the library, the state park, and seeing people!!!

Our baby girl is almost seven months old.
Currently enjoys eating, eating, eating, reading the paper, eating,
chewing on a rubber rainbow, eating, planning the garden, eating
aaaaaand running a tight cat nap schedule.

Hope you're having a lovely week..talk to you soon.
XxOo

Five Reasons why you can be one hundred years old {or maybe just forty two} AND pregnant.

I was crying...not sad tears..,just shocked tears.

Jeff was laughing. Like...for real laughing. "It's awesome."..he said.
He hugged me..he kissed me..and then we both started laughing.

I was not expecting to ever be expecting again.
I'm forty two years old. I figured Frankie was our "surprise baby" five years ago.
We were wedding planning with our oldest child! We had another graduating high school.
I thought six was our number...
....God had other plans for our family.

We are happy about them. {smile}

Sooooo....what is it like to be forty two and pregnant?
The exact same as when I was twenty two and pregnant!
Seriously...I don't feel any different.

If you want another babe...
..and you're nervous about having a one because you're "OoooLDER"...
...I am here to ease your mind and tell you..
Have the baby!!!

Here are five reasons having a baby over forty is just fine...

1. In the wise words of my midwife...
"If you're young enough to get pregnant..You're young enough to have a baby."
I guess your body knows best. {wink}

2. Don't let statistics scare you.
You're over thirty five now...lots of scary words start getting thrown around!
Birth defects. Down Syndrome. High Blood Pressure. Miscarriage.
Are all of these possibilities? Of course they are.
However..it's the statistics that go up...NOT your chances.

Say it with me...Statistics go up..Not.Your.Chances.
This always gets me fired up a bit.
I feel women are sometimes tricked into thinking they shouldn't have a baby
based on this...it's ridiculous!

Here's the thing....
The number of women having babies over forty drops significantly
compared to the number of women having babies in their mid-twenties!

If one hundred women are pregnant and one miscarries.. 1% of the women miscarry.
If ten women are pregnant and one miscarries...10% of the women miscarry.

Get it? The statistics only go by the numbers...and less women are pregnant in their forties...
...so those numbers don't mean much. Don't listen.

3. It keeps you young.
You will know all about Paw Patrol and Daniel Tiger.
You will be going on more walks, riding bikes and playing at the park!

Age is what you make of it...
.....my grandparents help cater weddings in their eighties!!!
..my seventy year old mother in law just rode Superman at Six Flags last weekend.

If you call yourself old..you will be old.
It's all a mindset. ..and you are the one who sets your own mind!!!
Don't limit yourself with a negative mentality.

4. You will learn to appreciate the little things.
It all starts with tiny fingers and tiny yawns...and that first smile.
Then they walk. Then they talk.

A grasshopper. A flower blooming. A spider in the corner of your house.
Everything excites toddlers!
Something as simple as going for ice cream is a big adventure....
...and it's little ones that make you see these things!
{well...maybe not the ice cream part..let's be honest...
...I still get excited over ice cream.}

Babies help you to slow down and notice the important things in life...
...like running through bed sheets hanging on the clothesline.
....going outside to see rainbows after a storm.
.....making shapes out of puffy clouds.
..sitting under the Christmas tree looking at lights.

5. You know more now.
You're older and wiser. You've matured.
You've calmed down a bit and understand how to handle life a little better.

Basically...you're not stupid anymore.
You'll be able to make better decisions while raising your child.


6. You won't regret it!
I know I said five..but I'm adding a sixth.

I promise..when you hold that bundle in your arms,
you won't have any regrets!!!

{Maybe the first time you try fitting into your jeans after giving birth..
...but whatever,  you'll be going on more walks, remember?}

No one {at least if you're sane} will wish away their child.
You will be super thankful you had the baby over forty!


XxOo

After the storms and tornado alerts all was well and fun and great and memories were made!!!

There were....
...nine tents.
...thirty two people that ended up coming.
..four coffee pots on camping stoves.
...ten thousand pancakes made.
..continuous fires in the fire pit.
....two tornadoes that touched down. {Scary..but everyone was thankfully safe!}
..buckets of rain.
...a couple of hours spent eating tacos in a Mexican restaurant.
.....tons of quarters used to dry sleeping bags in the laundromat dryer.
..quite a few fish caught and cooked in a cast iron skillet.
Lots of memories made.

...and Wow!
My brother caught this!....World Record fish right here folks!
It fed the whole crew! ;)

No person camping should sacrifice their fancy coffee just because they're in the woods!

Noooowwww.....
My dear sister in law Molly  took the next few photos below.
Her photography is amazing...
...I almost don't want to put her pictures on the same post as mine! Ha!

...and here's me flipping pancakes 100 weeks chunky and pregnant.
{Oooorrrrr...maybe I'm only 31 weeks ;) }

We are getting pretty excited around here to meet this little baby.

Thanks Green Bay and family for a great weekend!
XxOo

How many hands does it take to feel a baby kick?

Three.
Three hands on my stomach feeling this little babe kick.

Tis the season of flowers picked and given with love.
Beach days with cousins.
Rain..lots and lots of rain. Clouds...lots and lots of clouds.
This hasn't been the best of summers around here.

My garden for the first year EVER is in shambles...I plan on remedy-ing that...
...but my motivation is at a sloooooowwww pace.

I'll get to it though.
I plan on weeding around those gladiolas and cucumber plants
with my girls on Friday...and I will try to make sense of my messy backyard!
We have a poison ivy problem due to neglectful neighbors who abandoned their
home a few years ago...it's sad really..and the overgrowth is overtaking our yard.

Last year son number two was covered in poison ivy from it growing over the fence....
...this year poor Jeff was covered in it from cleaning up and trying to protect the rest of us!
He thought he was being super careful...but No.

*Tip of the Day*
If you cut down poison ivy...remember to not touch your shoelaces
and then your face, neck, arms...etc. the next day. {wink}

* Is she not the cutest in that little peach bikini???
Oh Collette...I could eat her up!

Veggie straws and a stick..what more could a mini-man ask for?

Have a fabulous 4th!!!
XxOo