My fifteen year old son using his own cash paid for a hoodie and pair of jeans he wanted.
It took everything in me not to whip out the debit card and say "I've got it, you save your money!"
But by me not paying, I was actually doing him a favor, though it didn't feel like it at the time.
He is in the process of learning.
Learning the difference between smart purchases from not so smart purchases.
Learning how to manage his finances now, so when he goes out into the world he will be prepared.
Around the age of fourteen/fifteen, I had to pay for things on my own. Hairspray, clothes, shoes....etc.
My parents supplied our basic needs at home, {most}wants and extras were up to us! (my siblings and I)
I am ever so thankful for that.
My husband and I want to do the same for our own children. Life isn't free.
Kids should learn young, if you want (or need) something, you have to earn it!
It's hard not to feel guilty watching your children pull out their last dollar to buy a toy or a piece of candy.
As a mom, I always feel I should be taking care of those things...but really, I shouldn't.
Kids need to learn value. How do we teach value?
Value is learned through sacrifice.
If we are constantly giving and giving to our kids, they will never feel sacrifice.
Lack of sacrifice is what has gotten so many people into the poor financial situations they are in today.
Americans want what they want and they want it NOW!
When we have to work for something, or give something up for something else,
we value whatever that something we've worked or sacrificed for is.
{Have I used the word something enough here?}
Sometimes not buying for our kids is a bigger sacrifice on OUR part.
I love giving gifts. It is one of my love languages.
It would give me great joy to hand over a new doll to one of my girls,
or a Lego set to one of my boys for no reason at all...to watch their faces light up.
It's just as much fun for me as it is for them...
but is it healthy to shower them with gifts to make us all feel good for a short time?....No.
I encourage you to not buy anything your kids don't need. Really need!
Let them break into the piggy bank for their wants.
Trust me, when they start using their own money, they tend to make wiser decisions.
They sort through what they want and what they really want, what's important and what isn't.
This will build character and teach financial responsibility. It's not always easy, but it's for the best. :)
Happy Tuesday.
Elizabeth XxOo
I so agree! It is funny how one of my kids just "has to have" something UNTIL we tell her she can when she pays for it. Suddenly, she doesn't want it as much. :)
ReplyDeleteHello Elizabeth! : )
ReplyDeleteOh yay! I'm so very glad you are here on blogger!
It's so good that you are training your son in that way, you would be surprised the single men my daughters have dealt with who are perpetual boys, their parents enabling them not only in finances but even in bad character. (people who should know better).
Great post Elizabeth. Thank you so much for stopping by and I'm looking forward to future blogging with you!
~amelia
Hi Liz! I really needed to read this today b/c I have let my guilt allow my to whip out my debit card for my older boys too many times. They both earn their own money now and I agree w/you that it's best for them at this point to pay for their own extra things.
ReplyDeleteHappy weekending to you!
Shanda