Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Concerning motherhood with older children while insulting new moms, sticking up for the seasoned ones and trying to stop this silly cliche talk. #sorrynotsorry

I can get everything done because I have my older kids to help out.
 ...said someone about my life.

I'm wide eyed and laughing and choking on my
third- time- re-heated-because- it's- taken- me- THAT- long- to-drink cup of coffee.

Because I'm a slow drinker? Ummm...No.
Because I have had to put it down for fifty million reasons
concerning motherhood and running a household?

While yes, the statement is somewhat true, I also find it annoyingly funny.
1. I do get more done because I have older kids to help.
2. I have much more to do and can't get it all done because I have older kids.

Thinking back on one baby....that was the easiest part so far!
{and by baby, I am talking mainly the toddler age...}

Now I didn't say the best part....I said the easy part.
Motherhood gets better and better and richer and richer....
...but also harder and harder the more kids you have and the older they get.

I love where we are at now. I love having teenagers. They are a ton of fun.
I love having kids in the middle. and we all love having a toddler in the house.
But every stage has it's easy and hard parts.

I may no longer wash dishes every night...
...but I'm helping make life decisions with my oldest.
...and just wait until your child pulls out of the driveway for the first time alone.
Talk about praying!

Allow me to loosely quote my dear, wise mother when someone
said to her she had it made because she had older kids to help her out....

"I didn't give birth to them at an older age.
I had to raise them first. Who do you think taught them all they know?"

Now, I get it, because it makes sense looking in from the outside.
Why wouldn't having older kids make life more simple?
I get it because I used to think the exact same way when I had one child, two children..even five!

I used to think how much easier it was going to be when the kids got older.
How my house would always be clean. How everything would flow smoother.

Let me tell you something..... I was Wrong. Wrong. Wrongo!!!

While it is true..I DO have help...and I'll be the first to tell you, my kids are great about helping out!
...I have more on my plate now than I ever dreamed I would have.

It's not bad, it's just different.

Whatever workload I's 10 times greater than when I had small children.
Without help from them, I'd drown.

It's also taken A LOT of work for Jeff and I to get where we are at.

Our kids were not born cleaning dishes and toilets and mowing lawns.
They did not do their own laundry at ages 10,8,6,4 and 2!
They did not cook food. They did not homeschool themselves.
They did not handle their own baths and bedtime routines.

That was all on us. Jeff and I. and quite honestly...mostly me because Jeff worked all day. kids are not slaves.
They have little lives too.

While they do have chores each day, in no way shape or form do they
come close to taking my place! Each and everyday I have much to do.

Now, if I may, I'm going to be blunt and I may even hurt feelings.
This is where the #sorrynotsorry comes in to play.

So #sorrynotsorry, but somethings need to be said to the up and coming moms of the world.
Don't take it too personal.

*Before I go any further...I'm mostly talking to stay at home moms here.
If you work outside of the home....well, that's a whole other story.
I don't know how you fit it all in?! You can't! It's impossible.
So this is not for you.

Oh! and moms of multiples...again, totally different story!

Continuing on...
This  modern mom attitude has got to stop. Your life is not just about you anymore.
It holds you back as a woman, and as a mother.

For starters, stop saying you can't fit a shower into your day! It's ridiculous.
There is no reason you can't take a shower now that you're a mom.
Do you own a bouncy seat? An excersaucer? Does your baby take naps?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions...then you can manage a shower.

There is no reason you should have laundry piled up on a consistent basis because of a baby.
There is no reason your house should be a constant mess because of one child.
{if you were messy before baby...well, then that last one doesn't count}

Have we lost the fine art of multitasking?
I think not ye users of social media and Netflix watchers.
Can you hold your Starbucks cup AND text at the same time?

Now before you start getting yourself all worked up and
tell me ten thousand reasons why I'm being insensitive and just flat out mean.....

.....Relax. I know there will be days that you can't get to everything.
I'm talking vague here. There have been times when my shower is taken at 4:00 pm.
It happens, but it should not be your norm.

...I've been in your shoes! I'm not being judgmental. Okay..maybe I am. Haha.
Because I've walked your road and I've learned a thing or two.

When you're feeling overwhelmed, you just have to dive in and take control.

You just have to do it.
Don't whine about it.
Don't complain.
Don't throw your hands up and wait for someone to come help....

Sincerely, Nike.

Guess What?
You are capable!
God created women with brilliant, multitasking brains and the capabilities to handle the mom life.
Use your God given gift! Stop making excuses about why you can't get things done.

If you are a mom, you were made to be one.
It's your role now. God has equipped you with mom super powers.
You need to tap into them.

Who do you think Proverbs 31:10-31 was written for?
It was written for you. Me. All women. Mom or not. It's something to strive for.
We can't be all of those things all of the time, that is not what it is meant to be...
..but you can try to be the best YOU can be!

Yes, motherhood can be hard at times and exhausting, but don't dwell upon that.
 Hard shouldn't be your everyday.

If hard and exhausting is your life,
then you're missing the beauty of motherhood.

Don't let  motherhood stop you from having a life. Instead, include your children into your life.

We have friends that have been traveling the world with their daughter since she's been born!
They didn't let parenthood hold them back.
Their daughter has seen so much of this world because they made a choice to involve her.
That's what being a mom is all about.

Motherhood should change you for the better, not make you a stressed out lunatic.

Enjoy what you have in front of you right now.
No matter where you are at....find the good. Find the positive and make the most of it.

Life is short. Don't waste it wallowing in how great life could be....make your life great!
Only you posses that power.

Choose Happy. Choose Joy.

P.S. I can totally text with my Starbucks cup in hand...and sometimes even with a baby on the hip. ;)


  1. amen, sister!! so so good. "Don't let motherhood stop you from having a life. Instead, include your children into your life." loved every word of this post. we have never had a busier season of life & the older kids are a huge reason for that. I'm way more tired now than when they were newborns but I love it! the craziness won't always last, right. but how we respond and embrace every part.. that will stay with our kiddos a lifetime. you're a good mom!! glad for ones like you with me on this journey. xo

  2. Yes! And yes! And yes! Don't let motherhood become an excuse for laziness. And enjoy it! God DID make us for this. Thank you so much! I needed to read this. :)

  3. I get what you are saying and agree to a point. But there is no way that we can know the shoes that others are walking in. Just because they are unable to do certain things at various stages of life does not mean they are lazy. Should we whine about hard stuff. No. Of course not. But putting extra guilt on moms who are working hard every day and litteraly can't find time to do some of the things you mentioned isn't helpful. There are so many things that we can't understand until we've walked that road. I never understood the intense journey that being a mom to special needs kids could be. But then GOd gave me a child with autism. And goodness. I never looked at other parents the same again. Because we don't know the battle they face. Then... God gave us four typical kids and i was surprised at how "easy" they were. Then #6 was born with a complex syndrome and totally turned our lives upside down. Every single day is a huge struggle. And I've cut out all the extra stuff.But my life now revolves around the beeps and alarms of his equipment. I know you wrote this in love. And I do get it. But I think it's impossible to truly know what other moms are going through and assume that they CAN do all these things IF they want to bad enough. I'm a perfectionist and letting my house go, so I can sit and Rock my baby all the time is soooo hard for me. But this is the gift that God has given and I believe that He only gives good gifts and enough grace to go along with the gifts.

    1. Oh! I hope I didn't hurt your feelings here. Your situation is so different and you have SO much going on in your life with your sweet little guy! I tend to let my sarcasm shine through sometimes ;) When I wrote this, I was thinking of all the young moms I know with one baby who act like they are exhausted just because they carried the carseat in from the car. Trust me! I KNOW motherhood can be exhausting...and you never, ever know what someone is going through!!! That's kind of where I was coming from toward the beginning of this whole post...someone was saying I didn't understand how busy they were because I have kids to help out. I just meant this to be light and to say...New Moms {mainly moms of 1 toddler} can do this. I just feel like Hollywood and modern day society has woman thinking negatively on motherhood...sending messages that you are going to be tired and frazzled....and while yes, it can be that way, it's not always that way. {for most people} That's the part of motherhood this post was about. So many many many topics to write about as moms! Haha.

      I can't imagine how hard it is to handle everything you do, especially since Isaiah is baby #6 and you have a household of others to run. I often think of that when you post pictures and have been sitting at doctors of hospitals for days! It's not easy. I pray for you when you post! :)

      Letting a house go would be hard...but you're doing the right thing rocking that little guy! If I lived closer I'd come scrub your bathrooms and make sure your kitchen was sparkling...because that's what really makes a house feel clean!

      Sorry if this was offensive to you...I didn't mean it to be at all.
      Hope you have a good weekend. XxOo

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  5. I absolutely love this post! We need more moms like this. I have 4 kids and it's crazy hectic,but honestly it's a season and we get thru it. I get so tired of the whining nowdays. Were moms tougher "back in the day" I wonder sometimes.You don't know me,but I always love your blog. Sorry, about the snooping;)

  6. Thanks for this. Perfect timing after a whiny, poor pitiful me couple of days. Love your posts.

  7. I agree with Beklovesjeremy. You don't know a lot of circumstances that people face because they don't want you to see their struggles. Liz, sounds like you got it all figured out though.