One minute you're staring at a positive pregnancy test, smelling baby lotions and
looking at how very, very tiny newborn onsies are....
...and the next, there is no heartbeat on the monitor
and the technician says..."I'm so sorry."
Miscarriage is a tease.
You're going to have a baby, and then....you're not.
Unfortunately it's part of this life here on earth. and even in loss God has a plan.
He had a plan when He gave us a baby to dream about,
even if it was only for a few short weeks.
I can see good that came out of it. My kids learned, I learned.
Most of the pregnancy I've been down...I was put on semi-bed rest from the start.
I'm tired of sitting. I'm tired of being careful. and I'm tired of wearing a pad!
My kids have done so, so much in the past couple of weeks helping out around the house.
I can not tell you how great they were. {still are!}
I mean, Frankie is potty trained and I had nothing to do with it!!! How incredible is that?
Our baby was due December 14.2017.
I'm ten weeks along. The baby has been gone for a while though.
I'm scheduled to have a D&C Wednesday morning.
...unless I miscarry on my own before that. Which I do not want to happen!
The last time I miscarried it dragged on and on and on and
I ended up needing the surgery weeks and weeks later anyway.
At this point...I just want to be DONE!
If you're one of those people thinking...well, she's older now,
my midwife had the best thing to say about this...
"If you're young enough to get pregnant, you're young enough to have the baby!"
Don't let your age ever scare you into not having a baby if you want one.
You have to be careful with statistics...they aren't always the most accurate thing to go by.
{I could write a whole book on this!}
One of my kids asked why we had to lose our baby when there are other people
who have babies that don't want them or are mean to them.
It's not a comparison.
God doesn't work that way.
He doesn't compare our life to someone else's when He chooses to give or take away.
That's a human way of thinking....and it's easy to wonder.
...but again, that's not how God works.
We are an individual, with an individual story,
{yet intertwined so beautifully with others, if we follow His will..
....life fits together perfectly.}
He is writing a story with each of us separately.
In the end, we will have our own life tale.
What we choose to do with that life is up to us.
Love. Help others. Serve each other. Be kind.
There are some who will choose unwisely.
In the end, they will have a sad story and a sad legacy to leave behind.
We must do our best with what we are handed.
Trusting that it is the best for us even when it doesn't feel that way.
From every situation in life we can find something good.
My early miscarriage pales in comparison with what other women have gone through.
I am thankful this is happening now and not months from now!
My cousin had written
her infertility story a few weeks back.
I found it so inspiring when she wrote...
"If you're interested in my IVF story, I'm going to tell it here.
I know when I was starting out with a fertility doctor,
I read the stories of as many real women as I could find. Here is my story."
How true!
It's so nice to read a story told by a real person, going
through a similar situation, rather than a doctor on WebMD!
We had friends lose their 11 year old daughter the day before Christmas Eve.
I have friends who aren't able to have any children.
We are sad about the baby, but have so much to be thankful for.
..and quite honestly...in situations like this, God really does give us Grace to handle them.
I am fine and ready to just move forward...
as in riding my bike! running outside! planting my garden!
Going on a date with my husband!!!
Just thought I'd share.
XxOo
